Just a Touch

Today is a black day

not because it's bad

or evil

but because today
I feel "without"

I feel it 

in my sinews

and in my toes

It's like a shovel

has scooped out 

any feeling of connection 

Is this what happens 

when you get too close

to the divine in your heart

you get poured out 

and turned upside down 

to dry

Today 

I feel like

there is rubble

inside me

solid masses

of scar tissue and words

scratching to get out

Aliens

Is this what a thief feels like

after the last of the money is spent

Is this what a murderer feels like

when remorse hits

I hope not

Cause not even they 

should be cursed to feel this way

I look up to the heaven

behind my closed eyes

and I weep for the ignorance 

foaming up inside me

I sob for the fear

lurking in the corner

and the lack of follow through

leaning over the fence 

about to fall

I will not warn it this time

Right now

my hands are lights

lights pulsing

bright then dim

reaching out

around the debris

and the holes of

my heart and soul

They 

for they are legion

are reaching out

for just a touch

of oneness

an idea

gathered in the faith 

of love's possibility

and the assurance

that one day

it will fill me

(c) kalonia jennings 12