I walk on lines made of
something like spun glass
pulled too far apart
I'm twisted like that too
I try to keep from leaning
on the arms of people who
take them away like
Lucy tricks Charlie Brown
I keep trusting
I keep trusting
Looking at sunset
remembering
the elaborate game of peek-a-boo
we play each night
I forget that you do it too
But that's cool
We took too long in trying to see
the veins of broken in the other
now all I want is..
all I want is..
Wednesday, May 28, 2014
Monday, May 5, 2014
A Way Out
Cornered
can't move this way
can't go back
Risk looking crazy
for not speaking
or becoming crazy if you don't
They enjoy it
the closer they come
oozing disingenuous feelings
like pus from gangrene
they enjoy the pain in your eyes
but don't hide it
Every whisper
wiping away your credibility
every eye looking you over
you know
they are tearing you down
to prepare the next victim
They plead the case of the innocent
getting others to perceive you
as being off balance
when others don't see
how they lay the full weight
of their treacherous intentions on you
Don't forget
they enjoy it
Don't forget
you are an object
Don't forget
there is a way out
even if it's hidden behind your tears
can't move this way
can't go back
Risk looking crazy
for not speaking
or becoming crazy if you don't
They enjoy it
the closer they come
oozing disingenuous feelings
like pus from gangrene
they enjoy the pain in your eyes
but don't hide it
Every whisper
wiping away your credibility
every eye looking you over
you know
they are tearing you down
to prepare the next victim
They plead the case of the innocent
getting others to perceive you
as being off balance
when others don't see
how they lay the full weight
of their treacherous intentions on you
Don't forget
they enjoy it
Don't forget
you are an object
Don't forget
there is a way out
even if it's hidden behind your tears
Sunday, May 4, 2014
Trust Me:
They've been caught AGAIN! And if anyone were in front of your bedroom door, they would swear you were practicing lines for the Broadway production of the Simpson's. "Doh! Doh? Doh." You KNEW it! The tickling feeling inside, when you first addressed the issue; morphed into a roaring, pounding, piercing scream when the truth ripped open your gut. Now, instead of asking " Why me?", you ask " Why didn't I see?" The answer is: You did, but you're so untrustworthy within yourself you wouldn't believe you.
*record scratch*
I know you might think that's a typo (my typing is pretty bad), but it's not. You are the untrustworthy one and you have proved it to yourself AGAIN! How? How can it be you, when the words are coming out of someone else's mouth? You are untrustworthy to yourself, by not believing the truth you already know. The pattern and cycle were set, you repeated them and ciphered through enough to know that, even if there have been some adjustments, nothing has really changed. You feel all the unresolved questions and comments rolling within you. When confronted with the lies, the half-truths, and the omissions; You were already familiar with the truth, but for whatever reason you allowed the illusion to put you back to sleep.
It's the illusions that we build around ourselves that keep us from seeing what we already know. We have collected them from every source available to our inner space and we use them to protect ourselves from the pain of living. When reality gets to trill, we take out an illusion or two to keep us from seeing what we are looking at. This is where you are being an untrustworthy person to yourself. You aren't hearing the truth, to keep yourself safe from the pain of the lie. You aren't trusting yourself to be able to take the necessary actions to protect yourself from a liar.
In turn, you are becoming a liar to yourself.
How can this stop? Answer seems simple, trust yourself, but often it's not that simple. We have spent months maybe years lying to ourselves about what we know. We have to build trust with ourselves again. It takes time and a willingness to act on the truth we know, every time, even if we are wrong! Yes, I said it! Even if you are wrong, you have the ability to be a big enough person to apologize, but you have honored the voice inside. You have also learned that somethings you know may not come from that center, but from what you are used to experiencing.
I don't claim this is a fix all. Hell, I just endured it myself. What I do know is, when you hear the truth within you, it comes with the courage to act on what you hear. You don't need anyone outside you to validate the "knowing" for you, because you can trust yourself to do what is necessary to protect yourself from a person who seems allergic to speaking the truth. Treat the illusions you have learned as a sink of cold, dirty, greasy sink water. You have to stick your hand in it and pull hard in order to be able to pour in the clear, clean truth.
*record scratch*
I know you might think that's a typo (my typing is pretty bad), but it's not. You are the untrustworthy one and you have proved it to yourself AGAIN! How? How can it be you, when the words are coming out of someone else's mouth? You are untrustworthy to yourself, by not believing the truth you already know. The pattern and cycle were set, you repeated them and ciphered through enough to know that, even if there have been some adjustments, nothing has really changed. You feel all the unresolved questions and comments rolling within you. When confronted with the lies, the half-truths, and the omissions; You were already familiar with the truth, but for whatever reason you allowed the illusion to put you back to sleep.
It's the illusions that we build around ourselves that keep us from seeing what we already know. We have collected them from every source available to our inner space and we use them to protect ourselves from the pain of living. When reality gets to trill, we take out an illusion or two to keep us from seeing what we are looking at. This is where you are being an untrustworthy person to yourself. You aren't hearing the truth, to keep yourself safe from the pain of the lie. You aren't trusting yourself to be able to take the necessary actions to protect yourself from a liar.
In turn, you are becoming a liar to yourself.
How can this stop? Answer seems simple, trust yourself, but often it's not that simple. We have spent months maybe years lying to ourselves about what we know. We have to build trust with ourselves again. It takes time and a willingness to act on the truth we know, every time, even if we are wrong! Yes, I said it! Even if you are wrong, you have the ability to be a big enough person to apologize, but you have honored the voice inside. You have also learned that somethings you know may not come from that center, but from what you are used to experiencing.
I don't claim this is a fix all. Hell, I just endured it myself. What I do know is, when you hear the truth within you, it comes with the courage to act on what you hear. You don't need anyone outside you to validate the "knowing" for you, because you can trust yourself to do what is necessary to protect yourself from a person who seems allergic to speaking the truth. Treat the illusions you have learned as a sink of cold, dirty, greasy sink water. You have to stick your hand in it and pull hard in order to be able to pour in the clear, clean truth.
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