Enough

In the place of the most high
I've found a place for me
Tucked away
in secret places
I have felt infinity

Touching a place within
I seek
and always find
Multitudes of things
Only found inside

Knowing someone
Loving someone
From this place seems wrong
Juxtaposed against
What should be
I find rest

Lover
and beloved
Occupy the same space
Lover and beloved
Are the same
And I soul search
For both in me

I have had enough
Of falling in love
Without the Lover
I have had enough
Of missing the one

Now
You stand within me
And all that can be said is
Welcome home

Consistent

Rain to river
River to sea
Sea to breath
And back again

Tilling to sow
Sowing to grow
Growing to reap
And back again

Connecting to reach
Reaching to touch
Touching to hold
Holding to let go
And back again

Like the sea
Like the harvest
Like love
I am consistent

I am consistent
In my love

Absence

Bent
Almost broken
I take little breaths
of things hanging
Like curtains
Shielding promises
Light
Heats up the inner
and I whisper
At the little things
dancing around
I wish only for love
Without feeling disposable
Wait
Says the pain
Wait and watch me
Transform your heart
Into a fountain
Waters sweet for the thirsty soul
Bitterness
Tenderizes me
Making me think im foul
Making me think
Im unworthy of the best
But it is bitterness
That will make me tender

Girl
Little girl
Sits inside me trembling
Rocking and holding onto
The only person
Always there
Me 

And in the absence
Of they
I hold her
Inside her ache
And wait for her
To burst from the ashes
Hopefully
In time
She, they and I
Will walk somewhere
Under the sun
And the lonely
Of the little girl
Will melt like ice
 In the mouth of a lover

Because of Love

Sitting
twirling my hair around my fingers
I'm thinking of love
I'm thinking of the way
the life in my body
grows
and stretches towards love
I walk and breath it
I talk and dance it

Every inch of my being
anticipates my inner smile
happy is the only way to describe it
and my mind argues the definition
seeks a source
looks for a reason
and none can be found
not  on the outside of me anyway

I can think of a touch
that makes my skin reach
reach for hands unseen
I can taste the sweetness
In the blood of pomegranates
I can look into eyes
longing to be seen
and see

Love could lay down
in each of these things
but it does not
It leaps from my chest
And wraps around
the beloved

It plays
Peek-a-boo
In the mirror
Of the other
Taking turns
Shouting itself
From twinkling eyes
And big smiles

Love
And its sister happiness
Spend so much time
Inside me
I almost forget
they are
I
The I that looks at me.

I almost forget
They are mine
to have and to hold
In richness and in health
For better and for worse
Beyond the time of this life

It's because of love
I can look at
The clouds and rain
And see comfort
I can find restoration

Sadness
becomes a friend
And I can look at you
To see myself
heal the wounds
Of this life's journey
Then set the soul in you
Free for the same

For Goodness Sake

I go deep inside
trying to find
any hint of belief I have
and turn it into knowing
I search within
looking for
those places where worship happens
without proof

I count my blessings
when they are happening
so I won't forget them
when I'm down
And when downs
show up
I count them as my blessings too

I look into the moments
between silence
as fairy tales to be edited
for later use
I take mental paintbrushes
and paint masterpieces
of present, past, and future
all as now

I close my eyes
and ask All That Is
For more of Itself
to manifest in my soul
so that I do not forget
the primal fount

I listen to raindrops
pretend to be wet
My wants pretend to be real
and my needs hide for fear
of pain
Then I set the child loose to ask
I subdue my devil with compassion
and I stand in the equality
of the sky's tears
to become renewed like the trees

I remember
that wholeness
is whole
with no matter
or subtraction
It is a place of
stability

change is unchangeably constant

I stop searching through
the other's eyes
for proof
that I am loved, cared for, and accepted
and I give away
the thing my ego wants
the most

I reach for self's sake
I ask for your sake
and I love
for goodness sake
because where tears fall
there is the greatest joy
and I seek treasures
in the invisible

Love, Need and ...

Was there ever time when
You lost yourself
in words falling from lips
sweet
Waiting for a time when
today would
walk consistent
with dreams
Would you let yourself
hang all out
before the one who could
break something in you
with a single phase

Getting lost
on emotions
destination becomes
habitual places of
wanting without knowing
and knowing
is the only salvation
not knowing them
but yourself

Nodding at all the inconsistencies
of making love
make sense
you favor those times
when it fits into categories of
time
good feelings and want
Isn't it foolish to want
on an empty heart

Loving is a need
like water
and shelter
even if you have to give it to yourself
But when you are loved by that one
you thrive
like cherry blossoms opening for the spring sun

to love
is to need
and to need is to be
to be in connection with the giver
don't spend time
running from yourself
open your arms wide
to the child within
and embrace it
with the infinite

My Best Mistake

When I saw you
Something inside me
broke away from the emptiness
and took flight
I released my doubts to bring it back
but it was long gone

When I laid my hands upon your face
I traveled back in time
and I laid myself in your heart
for today
So that through time
you'd always remember
your touch
It was a touch made just for you

When you're afraid
sometimes you have the courage
to do the one thing
that makes people
shake their heads
and wag their fingers
I feel brave enough
to look foolish loving you

Hearing the inner voice
smile at those words
I feel as if
I am clinking up
the highest point of
the tallest roller coaster
saying " I need you"
and I do
Begins the drop
All I can do is
raise my hands for the ride

Now, you could say
that I am crazy
and silly
and a little selfish
because I don't need you
to ride with me
But if you did
Angels would go giddy
and the heavens would burst into song
"Two more are on their way
 back into the garden"

And I could be wrong
you could turn
flex and run away
You could reject the very heart
I am not placing in your hands
You could take yours
and give it to another
You could laugh

And if you did my love
if you could not
withstand the full force
of a love so true
that it
shakes you to your core
It will be okay
You will have been
My best mistake
and I will love you
always

Wanted

Im holding onto this
It feels like
Pressure in my chest
Heart thumping in my ears
Stomach filled with butterflies

Im pretending
I know I am
I don't want to
But I need to
The horses are a thunderstorm inside me
And im lost while they circle me

Aches are not just for teeth
They have hit me
In this place
And I want to hide
Because my feet are stuck in this
I can't run
But these inner tears
Are creating a soggy mind
And words are surfacing
I did not expect
Words I can't bear to hear
And dare not speak

All I wanted was
The distance between my heart
And my life shortened
for love to travel through
All I wanted was eyes soft
Arms welcome
And a spirit open for the remarkable

Destined

There are those
who never find
the sound of
their inner being calling

They miss the
treasures of tears
and a heart that
moves along an
unfamiliar axis

There are those
who never reach beyond
themselves
Never dare to take
their dreams
and lift them beyond
words


and then there's you

From the moment
you reminded me
there is a promise
in a kiss

I have witnessed
an uncovered being
Whose calling in life
is as assured as
the seashore

In whom
treasures
have formed into omniverses
of talents
That have collided into
one body of life

There's you
in whose body
flow feelings
liquid and deep
emotions
sticky and saturating

You are destined
to follow along
paths uncertain
paths scattered with growing pains

You are destined
to walk in the sight
of stars
to be flung among
your brothers in the skies

You will follow your path
until it has taken you
into the arms of your purpose
I hope only to be a watcher
I wish to be a cheerleader
I want to walk with you
I need to see you shine

You are destined
and I
I want to kiss the cheek of
Spirit for thinking a thought
as beautiful as you

(c) kalonia jennings 3/11/12

Photograph

We are hung from invisible strings
Dripping
From being soaked
in the fluidity of life's energy
Small copies of what it means
For life to show you
What love really is
We shift from
Negatives
Onto blank souls
Of what it could mean
To love anew
Both blurry and slightly
Out of focus
We allow ourselves to be transferred into the dark
Fear creeps in as
Each page of us is
Dipped and saturated
In the power drawing us
Forward to be seen
Each spirit
Naked in the other's eyes
What is to be
seen and named
Are only symbols
Of what is developing
In order
we take turns
Being striped of
All preconceived ideas
Of "what if"
Should be
Sending endless ripples
Across our parts
Creating panoramic
Scenes of endless
possibilities
Like a photograph
We are
sitting in tragedies
Bloody light
Until we gain the
Sharpness and nuances
Of what love will do with us
Until we are brought
Into the light
By eternal hands
Set in our proper frame
And hung in the eyes
Of love's faithless few
As the epitome
Of creations class
on love