Portrait

I told you my secrets
so I didn't have to learn to paint
You were the perfect black canvas
I could not display

Every stroke of sin I commited
you became uglier
and I told you the evil I did
when I accused you of doing it
then blamed you for holding it all
by locking you behind the words
no labels

Yet you kept listening
Until the day I realized
I loved you more than anything
and I had to let you go
before I hurt you

So I sliced the portrait
of the perfect one
releasing you
to be the love I could not show
taking back my true form

upload.wikimedia.org
Dorian Gray 1945

Simply Said

I want to be

swallowed up in someone

but I'm scared 

it will mean the end of me

it's what I'm used to doing

I want to love 

to truly know someone

but I'm scared 

it will mean we have to hear

those things we don't want to know

I want to surrender

into a place greater than one

but I'm scared 

it will mean seeing 

those ugly things I am 

in someone else

I want to say

I love you

and mean it

but I'm scared

Simply said

I'm scared

Just Hair

Like the branches of weeping willows
in old growth forests
full of moss and wisdom
growing and reaching
to embrace the earth

Sweeping
like finger tips caressing a lover
they follow natural curves
they listen to laughter
caught in the wind

I imagine if cut
you could see growth rings
thin or thick depending of
the love I've given

I grow them
not for vanity
but humility
to remind me
and to help me forget

more than just hair
it's a journey
to help me learn
to extend my arms
in every direction
 and embrace

Time Traveler

I don't know

what I feel for you

all I know is this feeling

is swallowing my memory of you

you're fading 

and I don't mind

The farther you get

the closer I am 

to remember something nice

about the whole thing

you've ruined me

now I know what it feels like

to find what I've been looking for

I must forget

so it doesn't drive me crazy

to see someone pick it up so easy

so sick of the sampler plates

of whatever this feeling is

I just want to believe 

you were a time traveler

come back from the future

to experience me again

Ghost

We're not friends

I'm not anything in your life
and if we saw each other again
I don't think I'd speak
silence says everything

I am neither
someone to remember
nor someone to forget
and if I touched you
my hand would probably
go right through

because I'm the ghost
of what could have been
I am the being which exists
after a decision is made

I am the being which exists
in the hallways between
that one and the one
and we're not friends

I'm not anything in your life

Love for Sale

His love is for sale
so I saved
time and naivete
but couldn't save enough
to make a payment

His love is for sale
so I pawned my gut feeling
and lost the ticket
now it hangs on his neck
thumping against her chest
as he leans to kiss her

His love is for sale
all I could do is window shop
his price
not in dollars
but in blindness
silence and ignorance to the truth
that his love is for sale

Pomegranates

I listen to the noise
waiting for something I understand
waiting for the definition
chewing the inside of my cheek
thinking inside my head
I want to know

I want It to define Itself
all I receive for my desire
is a memory and some melodies
I watched words
float over the inside of my forehead
trying to put them together
I lost my desire

I remember some feelings
I thought would tell me a story
I remember a touch, a grasp
I remember being held
I know now it wasn't It

Hungry
I search for something to eat
maybe delaying the feeling
would define It for me

I cut a pomegranate
watch it bleed
to my surprise there lay the answer
as I try carefully to bite into it's seeds
the juice stains everything it touches
my chin
lips and fingers
this is love It said

As careful as I am
a greater mess I make
each seed bursting
pressed to the roof of my mouth
this is love
It said

Love... Part 1

    I had a friend once take on this topic, and did a very good job. This is another version of the self same topic, but from a few years growth and a great deal of inner conversation. I often will  pre qualify what I write only for those who have a habit of not reading everything before they form an opinion. So, I say, this is MY OPINION if you do not agree.. that's okay you are entitled.

    Love...

So highly subjective and absolutely concrete. It's the perfect paradox. Love is love only when it has no opposite. How can that be? Of course it has opposites, but I say if it does then it is not love. It could be a child of Love, a splinter in the magnificent tree of Love. I've heard it said love does not conquer all. I was shocked to hear it, but not surprised. I have grown to understand love is not the feeling we have when we connect with another. Love is. That's it, it is.

    Love is this and that. It's the connection, not the feeling which overcomes. This connection has no opposite. It is everything,everywhere all the time. We can tell ourselves we are separate, but our idea doesn't make it happen. The room and space you perceive is actually filled to the brim. You walk through things. You breathe in things. This is love.