the temperature of my heart
and I am standing in front of this closed door
Thinking if I have the courage to
open myself to the unknown again
pacing back and forth
pressing my ears to it
thinking I hear someone say
"come in"
I have yet to knock
Back to a comfortable
uncomfortable
"same ole" degree
I am outgrowing this nest
and the pieces of glass
are making my mind bleed
The four letter word
Love
is like
slivers of acid-laced paper
cutting at my heart
making me have dreams and visions
of something that will
wither as soon as it's touched
I understand
it's the hallucinations that scare me too
Life's business
funny little triangle'd facades
as unreal as the nothing
with the same affect
the ability to make everything
be like it never was
the temperature has dropped again
why did I have to remember
life's business
Decision time
my hand is on the handle
if I turn it
my life's business
will mix with the brutality
of love's longing to be set free
from bondage
If I turn this handle
I will not be the same
and neither will my vision
faith and hope
are pretty good corrective lens
when you suffer from an astigmatism
of the spirit
Pitch black
and writhing
the sounds from the crack in the door
I could open this door fully but I am afraid
no rules.. means
no rules
And I am a person
who thinks life can't live without rules
I am hurting
and the sounds from behind this door
are saying things I never wanted
to know I knew
I don't want to hear these words
Yet here they are falling over me
like a stuttering child
the door is closed behind me
I don't feel the walls
I can't see the door
I am here
in this place again
The only reason I could
walk through the open door
and into the dark is
my heart is glowing now
my spirit is calling to it's companions
The wind is howling
but I am apart of this wild
I am in the fire of my initiation
(c) kalonia jennings 11
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