I called him
good boy
For years every time he fell
I tried to kiss his pain away
with my presence
I tried to grow him up in my power
but he wanted to stay a boy
So I had to go
I called him daddy
Encountered him when I thought
I couldn't take another step
But he punished my vulnerabilities
they were disobedient to his version of me
My presence a nuisance because
he couldn't see how I had anything to teach him
he couldn't see my being as a source of knowledge
so he pushed me away
I stayed gone
Now I am at the bend in the road
and I hear my love calling
but I can't answer
I don't know his name
Long ago there was a time
when I could call him my lord
or some such title
to show both my submission to his power
and my worthiness as his equal
Where are those names now
I feel him ahead of me
calling my name
Beloved
I can hear him say
but I cannot answer him
because I don't know his name
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