Demands

I puffed out my chest to Life
made some irreverent comment about
being an illegitimate child of the sun
about being left to this earth to raise alone
and she had far too many children
to pay attention to me
rolling on her own axis
making love to infinite darkness
she had no time to love me

Snatched from her breast to soon
I spat her milk in her face
threw my head back and laughed
sunlight filled my throat
nearly choking me

I poked my finger at the sky
knowing it had no end and posed no threat
I tried to make it flinch
wildly punching at it with the emptiness in my heart
I needed to feel some kind of power

I walked up on a weeping willow
dared it to come at me
when it reached out for me
I fought it until it entangled me
it tickled my ear
and whispered the sounds of the sea
until it uncovered peace

My fuck face to the world
I tried to grab air by the waist
and angrily pound my way free
slamming myself against unfulfilled hopes and dreams
using the pain to numb myself from living

I demanded life to care for me
I didn't ask to be here
I demanded it do what my parents couldn't
I didn't recite these curses over myself
I demanded it never leave
even though I know it will be
 long after my last breath