Switch

I told myself to gather together
as many old inner dirty things
I lined them up
I thought allowing them to be beaten
by the cruelty in someone else
would make them give up
It didn't

So I tried to exchange them
for some ideas of ideals
of a future me
evolved from a present me
I can't step into yet

I thought letting myself
gather together some more words
to bind the lazy things would
create a will power made of iron
but the lazy things wilted and died
the ground they occupied fallowed
that's what I get

Again I exchanged them
with an idea of the truth
peeled words away
to take away the meaning
so I could learn again
a full grown tree broke ground in me
I never thought to answer
a full grown chicken came out an egg

Now it's time to switch
to a definition of living
I can live with