Space

I told him
I don't feel worthy
I let my heart drip like wax
under the heat of my shame

I told him
I don't know
what it feels like
to be enough
I let my heart bleed
like my tears fell

The tenderness in his eyes
heartbreaking
So lost in me
I couldn't see his truth
then he spoke

The distance between us
the way the wind blows
the way you can smell the earth
when it rains

From moonlight
to twinkling stars
Atoms and galaxies
You are the darkness
that holds them together
the openness between them

You are all that I am
You make me possible
you are space to me
the very air I breathe
if that is not worthy
if that is not enough
then nothing is

From Here

Everything looks so big
everything seems so far
looking up
I don't know where I am

Falling farther
seeing the bottom
but my feet never hit the ground

I brace for impact
Plug my ears against the sounds
broken hearts sounds like glass
when they hit life's walls

Somehow I wish I knew how far
how far I need to fall
to find my way from here
to find my way back home

Don't tell me
it's okay
the silver linings tarnished
the lights gone murky
hope has runaway

I want to find my season
even if it's cold
I need to find my place
before I loose control

Control of thinking the sun is coming
that dawn will soon peek through
I thought I held the morning
when I was holding you

Now
I have to find my path
holding hands with memories
Happiness a figment
Sweetness of love a ghost

How did I get from there to here
When will I find my way from here
I need to find my home

Love In Winter

We loved
I mean I loved
I'm not sure what is inside you
words are hidden in you
like seeds under snow
and spring never comes

When you look at me
what do you see
because I'm wondering
if you see me at all

The coldness of winter
doesn't seem hospitable
to love
yet there you were

Maybe I was your mantle
maybe I was meant
to keep you warm until
the summer

I watched spring's rain
wash away my certainty
I watched the wind blow
away my peace

I look back to last Autumn
at the seeds I sown
maybe some have blow away
and landed on fertile ground

I can say I knew love
I can say I remember
but now that summer has come
I wish to forget that love in winter

black licorice and flames

I taste him
in my sleep
I pull him closer
in my mind
until I cannot not bear the distance
I hurt from not having his touch
But I dare not
I dare not speak this out loud
obsessive
I miss him like I taste him
in my sleep

This may not be a twin flame
but he binds me in places
and I want to pursue this
until the end of
the curse of afraid passes
To kiss him
Is to kiss a waterfall
when dying of thirst

I am losing something
but it's not my mind
because he always occupies it
I am falling
but it's not in love
Because there is no place to fall
I'm too high above it
someone pull me down

I have never liked black licorice
and fire burns the careless
But he tastes like something
between sweetness and pain
and my heart burns
while I watch him sleeping
next to me in my dreams
nothing I have ever missed

Without Words

There's a pain inside me

my eyes strain to see through tears

I'm looking at my memories

Seeking the things that make me afraid

Your face flashes across my mind

and sadness wraps itself around my smile

I love you
and that means nothing
in the silence of this room
the sting in my eyes
I know I am reaching for something
but I know I cannot ask
I dare not ask

Weak from the pressure
of carrying the pebbles of feelings
I wait under the idea
that ambiguous words have weight
I'm bending and what for
you are laughing at my silliness
your words have been spoken
and that word is bond

Making up for lost time
I leave my tears on the pillow
I tuck love in my shoes
and I rest my heart on the dresser
it's a better accessory to me there
than in my chest bleeding
while I'm living without words

The Word

You
capture my tongue
mesmerize my mind
make my eye's know
what it's like to taste
you're a visual delicacy

I
take shape
from broken pieces
mended so
the cracks don't show
when heated by love
I reflect beauty

We
move in and out of time
I have spent years
wrapped in seconds
over millenium with you
and I still don't know
what we are

Our
time is slipping away
I still have yet to know you
walking between the flimsy rope
of possibility and potential
what's the point
when the rope is still on the ground

Me
I take myself to the other end
of my mind
where flowers and sunshine
can sink into me
making me beautiful
and I listen for the word
that will make me stay
in my own truth

Ready

I've had enough
and in my resignation
I don't pound my fists
stomp my feet
or ever scream
I lean

I lean into you
into this thing I see
my voice falls silent
my eyes close
and I find you

I find you
feel you then we blend
into one
I don't fight this
I've had enough to this fight
so I seize this moment
as mine

As mine
I release my need to cling
to have to hold
I allow death to part us
Only those things that die
can truly be born again

Born again to love
Somewhere I've misunderstood love
once I thought it was getting
then giving
now being
Being love
foolishness to my mind

My mind needs an alignment
Spirit is already straight
body needs a true leader
and then comes the rest

The rest that comes
at the end of creation
when harvest has ended
and the deep cold comes
I have remained in this cold
for far too long
Here comes the sun
I am ready to spring forth

Tap Out

sweet to my tongue
i miss the way the vein moves
right before you come
and i'm sitting here
wondering if my fingers
seasoned with years of practice
can offer me any satisfaction

see you have
set a precedent
and i'm thinking too much of
the way you feel when you
ease into me
wet unfolding over you
causing smacking noises
and a quickening of the pace

I want you to fuck me
then make it up to me
by sucking out the venom
I want to feel  your hips
turn into waves
crash into me
and when you think I've had enough
show no mercy

I'm normally not like this
but baby there's nothing
like a dick that fits
this may sound base
but I promise you
it's most divine
I just heard an angel say
you were made for me

Now press my legs back
and find what you have been looking for
I can take as much as you give
and if you think I can't
prove me wrong
make me surrender

But if that's not what you're looking for
take your time
cause I want to savor
every thick inch
I want my pussy to lick her lips
and I want you to remember the day
your match met you
Are you ready to tap out